Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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