good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hippo gnu deer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
