I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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