that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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