Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
