Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
