I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
