physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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