Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
