i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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