i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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