I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
