its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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