This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
