Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
