remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
