my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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