So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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