Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
