I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
