i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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