Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
