i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
