i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
