i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
