great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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