I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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