I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
