What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
