You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
