Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
