At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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