My Higher Power is John Stamos
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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