I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
