are you still at the devil's house?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
