so that wasnt chicken after all
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
