Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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