Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
