i permit you to call me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
