woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
