can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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