Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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