Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
