Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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