I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
