I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
