I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
