You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
