Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
