Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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