His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if only i could text you this smell
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
